Dragon Raja 3; Chapter 41: The Unsolvable Knot (4)

Dragon Raja 3

He read Shanghai Fortress on Lu Mingfei’s recommendation, in first class on United Airlines from Beijing to Chicago. After finishing it, he stuffed the book into the magazine pocket beside his seat—he didn’t intend to take it, wanting to leave it for the next passenger to come across. Then he asked for a glass of ice water and watched the clouds outside the window slip by, thinking for three hours. He couldn’t find a solution for the protagonist.

Not every love story in the world has a solution.

Lu Mingfei continued rambling on, “But one night, the fool sends a very important message to the girl, telling her a big secret, and the girl doesn’t reply. The fool thinks, ‘How could this be? How could this be? At this time, she shouldn’t be asleep yet—she should be replying to my message. Why isn’t she replying? What’s holding her up?’”

“Then the fool suddenly thinks, ‘Oh, it’s because on a night like this, she’s with her boyfriend.’ Lu Mingfei spoke softly, “They’re having a romantic evening—being intimate… That kind of thing, Senior Brother, I know you’re not too familiar with it either… They’re about to get married—they can kiss, whisper sweet nothings, and even roll around in bed. And what about the fool? He’s sending text messages. For such a long time, all he ever had with the girl were texts, while she and her fiancé went shopping, watched movies, ate out… and kissed.”

“He just thought he was important in the girl’s life, but really, he’s just a loser,” Lu Mingfei said softly. “Is love that great? Does having love make you the greatest?”

“That’s enough,” Chu Zihang said quietly.

“I just wanted to say that I think Senior Sister and the boss—”

“I said, that’s enough!” A vein suddenly throbbed on Chu Zihang’s temple. It was rare to see him angry, and even though he was holding it back, it was still like the roar of a lion. “If you think you can do something because you believe in yourself, you really can’t! Because I’ve already lost hope—how can you accomplish anything?”

He hated the helplessness in Lu Mingfei’s words. Chu Zihang had long erased the concept of “helplessness” from his mind.

Countless times, he had thought back to that stormy highway, remembering the moment that man rushed toward “Odin” with a knife, while he drove away in a Maybach, almost crying from fear. He hated the cowardly face he had at that moment. If he could choose again, he would grab the long blade from the other side of the car door and rush back—to fight alongside that man, even if it meant dying.

A boy should have the honor of dying with his father.

But no one could change the past. After that, Chu Zihang never chose to run away again. The tougher the enemy, the stronger his fighting spirit became. He always felt like he was standing at the edge of a cliff with no way back. If not for that, he wouldn’t have had such a huge conflict with Caesar—Caesar was also someone who wouldn’t take a step back, except when it came to Nono.

Lu Mingfei was stunned and stammered, “We… we’re just chatting, don’t take it seriously. I, I… I ramble—you know that, Senior Brother…”

“If you don’t have hope, you can’t do anything,” Chu Zihang said, staring straight into Lu Mingfei’s eyes, repeating himself.

Lu Mingfei was silent for a long while. “Senior Brother, have you ever watched Saint Seiya?”

Chu Zihang paused. “I’ve heard of it.”

“I was really moved when I watched it; I could even recite the lines,” Lu Mingfei muttered. “There was one time Seiya got knocked down—he couldn’t even stand up. He said to Athena, ‘I have no strength left, I can’t go any further.’ Athena said, ‘But you still have hope.’ Seiya thought, ‘That’s right, I still have hope. With hope, I’m invincible!’ Then he stood up and defeated the enemy.” He stared blankly out the window. “At the time, I thought, ‘That makes so much sense! I have hope too. With hope, I’ll be awesome!’”

“Then I watched the Underworld arc. Seiya got knocked down again—this time, by a god. Humans can’t beat gods, and this time, he didn’t even have hope,” he continued. “Seiya said to Athena, ‘I’ve given it my all, goddess, but I’ve lost.’ Athena then said, ‘But you still have life. You are not empty-handed.’ Seiya thought, ‘That’s right, I still have life. If I burn my life, I’m invincible!’ So he stood up again and defeated the god. I was moved again, and I secretly resolved that I wanted something to come along that I could gamble my life on.”

“But later, I realized. Athena is Seiya’s boss—a terrible boss at that. The boss tells the struggling employee to hold onto hope and fight with their life! Hope and life—they’re just excuses to trick kids, to make you feel like there’s a future.” Lu Mingfei said softly.

“Some things can be accomplished if you work hard enough, but for most things, even with hope and life on the line, it won’t make a difference.”

The two of them fell silent, but there was a charged atmosphere between them. Chu Zihang’s eyes flickered with something like tangible fire.

“I know what you think of me, Senior Brother. I know I’m cowardly,” Lu Mingfei looked down. “You’ve known me for long enough to know that.”

Chu Zihang took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. This anger he felt was irrational—it was unlike him to care so much about someone else’s business.

“When I was in elementary school, the kids in my class looked down on me,” he said softly. “Because back then, my mom remarried, and everyone in my class knew that my dad wasn’t my real dad. I went to an international elementary school, where most kids came from wealthy families, and many of their parents knew my stepfather. One of the reasons they made fun of me was that my mom was pretty, so I got to attend that school—but I was really just a driver’s son.”

His voice trembled slightly. “They said, ‘Chu Zihang’s new dad is only nice to him because he wants to sleep with his mom!’”

Lu Mingfei was stunned, unsure of what to say. Damn, this was the kind of private past that he shouldn’t know about. He, as the lackey of the student council president Caesar Gattuso, sharing confidences with the Lionheart Society’s leader Chu Zihang in the dead of night—if some paparazzi caught this scene, it would be considered high treason.

“The guy who led them was a black belt in karate—the youngest black belt in China.” Chu Zihang said, “My bloodline hadn’t awakened back then, and I couldn’t beat him.”

“Isn’t your stepfather pretty good to you? You could tell him, let him find the guy’s father—compared to family power, Senior Brother, you’d never lose. You’ve got two fathers—both awesome—while he’s only got one.” Lu Mingfei couldn’t help but add.

“No, I never told him about it, because it had nothing to do with him. It was my business,” Chu Zihang said quietly. “I only asked him to take me to learn kendo. It took me three years to get a black belt—before that, no one believed an elementary school kid could do it. But I had to get it within three years, because if it took longer, I’d graduate, and I didn’t know what middle school I’d go to, and I wouldn’t be able to beat him up.”

“Whoa!” Lu Mingfei exclaimed in admiration.