“Actually, I liked… you.” Lu Mingfei mustered all his strength.
At last, finally, he managed to force the word “liked” into the sentence. He felt utterly drained; it really was like a life-and-death battle. In that fleeting second, in his inner world, Lu Mingfei had forcefully pushed back that yearning little soul inside him. One step forward, and there was the beautiful girl; one step back, and it was back to the lonely bachelor life of cold winds and misery. That yearning soul kept shouting, “I won’t accept this, I won’t accept this!”—but it was still pushed back down to the deepest part of his heart.
In this setting, “Actually, I like you” would have been easy to say. The scene was practically made for that line. He’d had two glasses of wine, his heart was restless—saying something bold would be only natural. Even if Chen Wenwen didn’t accept it, it wouldn’t be too awkward. This wasn’t some cheap dinner—she dared come here alone, so she should have the courage of Guan Yu attending a banquet alone!
“Actually, I liked you” was much harder. Why bring up something already over, especially at such a nice moment? Was he trying to end everything on a final note?
“I understand, no need to say more.” The blush on Chen Wenwen’s face faded, and she lowered her head, speaking softly.
Lu Mingfei coughed violently. That dangerous gasp for air had almost taken his life.
He wasn’t sure if this counted as a victory over Lu Mingze. He didn’t like Lu Mingze’s concept of power and authority. Chen Wenwen was his classmate; Lu Mingfei used to really like her, and even now he was willing to stand up for her. No matter how much he changed, he would never treat her like picking up a piece of tissue. To Lu Mingfei, Chen Wenwen was simply Chen Wenwen. If now she were to ask him to buy her a bottle of Coke, he would run off immediately.
Some things… are meant to stay unchanged forever!
Lu Mingfei gritted his teeth fiercely, as if making a vow to himself.
“I actually knew before, but I pretended not to… I’m sorry, for disappointing you.” Chen Wenwen said softly.
“It’s alright, I don’t blame you. Really, believe me.” Lu Mingfei took a deep breath, carefully choosing his words. “Before I met you, I didn’t know what it was like to like a girl. It was only after meeting you that I understood. Actually… my high school years were pretty miserable. If I hadn’t spent all day pining for you… it would have been even worse, right? Thanks to you, it wasn’t so bad, even if there was never any chance between us. You shouldn’t regret it either, right? To like someone for so long, that person becomes part of your past. If you regret having liked someone, wouldn’t that be denying your past self entirely?”
He ran out of things to say, licked his lips, and swallowed. He felt a bit embarrassed. “Too poetic, I guess. Just bear with it.”
“No, it’s fine.” Chen Wenwen lowered her head. “What you said was beautiful, like poetry.”
“Like poetry?” Lu Mingfei picked up a napkin and wiped his sweat. It was the first time he’d ever been complimented like that; he felt a bit lost.
But he had no idea how to continue… It was getting awkward. Everything was on the table now—crystal clear. Saying anything more would be superfluous. It was like the Japanese Iaido swordsmanship, where the sword is alive only when in its sheath; once drawn, it becomes dead.
Should they keep reminiscing about school? What if Chen Wenwen suddenly stood up and ran off in tears? Or should they clasp hands and laugh it off, saying, “Let’s put the past behind us and drink the night away”? If she could accept that last scenario, Lu Mingfei would be more than happy…
The door creaked open, and a sneaky figure poked their head in, glancing at the only table with a light on. They were holding something in their hand.
“Are you kidding me! Brother, are you here to eat or stay?” Before the waiter could stop him, Lu Mingfei slapped the table. “Come over here!”
“J-just… an interview.” The guy, who might as well have the word “REPORTER” written on his face, clutched a recording pen nervously. He pointed to the camerawoman behind him. “She’s my sister… doing the video. We’re from a TV station food program. We heard that Aspasia was booked tonight by a gourmet with the executive chef personally preparing dishes, so we came here in the rain to interview. Sorry to bother you… I’ll, um, leave now.”
“You came all this way, why leave now? Come on, join us for a bite!” Lu Mingfei quickly grabbed the reporter’s sleeve, thinking, Brother, save me! Please don’t leave! If you go, I won’t have anything to say again!
“Oh, that’s too kind. This is pretty pricey.” The reporter was astonished, not expecting the generous gourmet to be so young and hospitable. He rubbed his hands together. “I’m not worthy of eating, but how about sharing some words for our viewers?”
“No need to be polite!” Lu Mingfei, now fired up, pulled the reporter into a seat, fetched a chair for the camerawoman, and called to the waiter, “Chopsticks… no, I mean, another set of utensils, and the menu! Let’s order more!”
“Well then… I humbly accept.” The reporter was overjoyed. “Brother, how’s the food here?”
Lu Mingfei recalled Lu Mingze’s demeanor, smacked his lips, and said, “The tuna’s cooked just right, but if I were the one making it, I’d use matsutake mushrooms for seasoning instead of truffle.”
“How about the wine pairing?”
“Out of Bordeaux’s five top wineries, Margaux is my least favorite. It’s a Bordeaux winery, but the wine tastes somewhat like a Burgundy.” Lu Mingfei pointed at the bottle, frowning.
“And the atmosphere of the restaurant?”
Lu Mingfei nodded slightly in approval. “Hmm… that old ship and the worn elm floors complement each other nicely, but the designer also used marble and organic resin panels to give a modern partition to the space. The blend of old and new here is quite well balanced—intimate yet open.”
“I knew it!” The reporter slapped his thigh. “A real expert knows their stuff!”
More food and drinks arrived, and the atmosphere grew lively. Lu Mingfei patted the reporter’s shoulder, calling him brother, but suddenly turned to see Chen Wenwen smiling silently—whether calmly or sorrowfully, he couldn’t tell.
Bright lights flickered on the raindrop-covered glass as the dark blue Panamera pulled up beneath a tree outside. The car window rolled down then back up. Chu Zihang sat inside, expressionless, nodding at Lu Mingfei.
“Ah, I have to go. Take your time eating, bro.” Lu Mingfei wiped his mouth with a napkin, stood up, and slung his backpack over his shoulder.
“Okay, I’ll see you off.” Chen Wenwen stood as well.
Pushing the door open, a cold wind rushed in, rain pouring everywhere. Amidst it was a hand-crafted black iron lamp, casting a warm glow.