“Didn’t he bring you some deep-sea fish oil?” Uncle tried to speak up for Lu Mingfei, after all, he was part of their Lu family.
“How much could that be worth?” Auntie snorted. “He takes so much money from those Americans every year!”
Auntie had always been irked by Lu Mingfei’s luck. Initially, she had hoped Lu Mingfei could help pave the way for Lu Mingze to go abroad, but after swallowing her pride and calling him several times, asking him to “help Mingze make some connections,” Lu Mingfei had only vaguely agreed, without delivering any good news. It wasn’t that Lu Mingfei wasn’t trying—Cassell College was simply a “Center for the Study of Abnormal Humans,” and Lu Mingze was far too normal.
Auntie directly called Professor Guderian. Guderian outright told her there was no chance, “Although your son’s grades are indeed better than Mingfei’s, madam, you must understand that Mingfei is a genius! Do you know what a genius is? A genius is an incomparable, irreplaceable person who, due to chance and coincidence, is born among us! Edison said, ‘Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration…’”
Auntie, holding back her anger, said, “I know you Americans emphasize hard work! Our Mingze works very hard, with not just 99% perspiration—he’s putting in 100% effort in his studies! He’s definitely sweating more than Mingfei.”
Lu Mingze certainly sweated more than Lu Mingfei; Auntie wasn’t lying. Lu Mingfei weighed 130 pounds and stood at 178 cm, while Lu Mingze weighed 160 pounds and stood at 160 cm. If they slept in the same room and Lu Mingfei sweated more than Lu Mingze, it would only be due to night sweats from a weak constitution.
“But Edison wasn’t done talking. He also said that the 1% of inspiration is more important than the 99% of perspiration!” Guderian, on the other end, was getting increasingly animated. “Mingze may have 100% perspiration, but where is that 1% inspiration?”
“So you’re saying Mingfei has inspiration?” Auntie grew furious.
“Mingfei is inspiration from head to toe!” Professor Guderian said excitedly, “I’m counting on him to help me get promoted to full professor…”
Auntie slammed the phone down and spent the next few nights tossing and turning, unable to understand why her hard-earned Lu Mingze was still no match for that wilted Lu Mingfei. She woke Uncle up in tears, complaining about how hard it had been since she married into the Lu family. Everyone in the family praised Lu Mingfei’s mother, Giovannina, for being well-educated and classy, and for having such a harmonious marriage, making it seem as if Giovannina was a swan while she was a toad… No, a poor duckling… In short, she had truly been bullied to the breaking point!
Having endured this pain and learned from it, Auntie had spent the past year waking up early and going to bed late, pushing Lu Mingze to study like she was chasing a donkey. Finally, the admission letter arrived from across the ocean, and Auntie was ready to revel in her triumph—well, revel and boast. She immediately picked up the phone to call Lu Mingfei’s parents, only to realize that she didn’t even have their contact information. For all these years, they had only communicated through letters written with a fountain pen on white paper, and never once was a return address given!
The agony of not being able to flaunt something, like eating abalone with no one to witness it, was sheer loneliness!
The family of three squeezed into the elevator with their arms full of bags, Auntie having even purchased toilet paper for Lu Mingze.
“I’m absolutely exhausted,” Uncle complained, “What’s for dinner tonight?”
“I told Mingfei to chop the radish, steam the sausages, and pick the scallions. Didn’t Mingze like that crossing-the-bridge rice noodles? Tonight, we’ll have radish and pork ribs, pork rib broth for the noodles, Cantonese sausage, and I also bought some salmon for sashimi,” Auntie said, lovingly touching her son’s round face.
“Don’t keep making Mingfei run errands for you. Isn’t he going back to college tomorrow? He needs some time to pack,” Uncle reminded her.
“What’s the matter? Just because he’s going to college, he can’t help me with a few things?” Auntie rolled her eyes. “I’ve raised him for so many years, without saying a word.”
The old elevator groaned as it rose from the underground parking garage to the first floor and then stopped. As soon as the doors opened, a guy drenched in sweat rushed in and frantically pressed the floor buttons.
“So rude!” Auntie muttered, looking elsewhere, making sure he could hear but not say anything in retaliation.
The guy suddenly snapped to attention.
“Lu Mingfei?” Auntie recognized him, feeling anger boil up inside. “Where have you been playing around? I told you to steam the sausages and fix the toilet seat. Didn’t you hear me? All you do is play! You’re just like your parents! Where’s the toilet seat? Didn’t buy it? Went out just to play with your friends? You’re so grown up now and still have no sense of what adults have to go through!”
Lu Mingfei instantly cowered. Auntie was right. He had just gotten back—Chu Zihang had dropped him off at an intersection near their neighborhood, and he had sprinted all the way, hoping to get in before his aunt and uncle. He hadn’t expected to bump into them in the elevator.
He’s been scared of Auntie all his life—more so than he feared the Dragon King Norton. Compared to Auntie, the Dragon King was nothing! Even if that Yanling “Zhulong” were released, at worst, he’d be holding a nuclear bomb and be blown to bits. He wasn’t Caesar; he didn’t have immense wealth or a beautiful girlfriend making him cling to this world. Auntie, however, was different—her voice, filled with nagging and reproach, struck deeper than any magic, her middle-aged, round face full of the expression, “I pity your misfortune, I hate your incompetence,” made life worse than death.
“It’s fixed! It’s fixed! The toilet is fixed!” Lu Mingfei said, standing at attention.
He had to trust Chu Zihang, who had promised to send a professional to help him take care of it. The leader of the Lionheart Club wasn’t an ordinary person—his words carried a lot of weight at the college. As a follower, Lu Mingfei had no choice but to trust in his leaders’ abilities.
“Then why were you running like you were desperate for the bathroom?” Auntie still wasn’t pleased.
“I-I-I…” Lu Mingfei stammered, drenched in sweat.
He couldn’t understand why he was being so submissive. Even if Auntie threw him out, it wouldn’t be such a big deal—he could just spend the summer hanging out with Finger instead of coming back. Maybe he was just used to being like this.
The elevator door opened. Lu Mingfei carried all the bags, following Auntie carefully, praying that everything was as Chu Zihang had said. Today was an important day—the “Lu Mingze Going Abroad Family Celebration Dinner.” He had even bought a gift for Lu Mingze: a universal adapter with a transformer. It was a very useful little item. Auntie probably wouldn’t think about how the voltage in America was different from back home. Last year, Lu Mingfei had suffered while waiting in the train station in Chicago, unable even to charge his MP3 player. With this, Lu Mingze wouldn’t have to endure that.