Chu Zihang couldn’t do much about her—Xia Mi was the type to “beat a snake with a stick.” It was best not to give her an opening; once she had one, she’d dig in and talk for hours.
After hesitating for a moment, he said, “A friend of mine’s crush was proposed to.”
Xia Mi rolled her eyes, sneering. “That’s it? I thought Obama had fallen in love with the Queen of England, and our dear president stayed up all night thinking about it. Being proposed to is normal, right? Back in high school, there were guys who vowed to marry me. They even wrote it on the blackboard at night, and by the next day, the whole school knew.”
“What kind of person was it?” It was rare for Chu Zihang to show interest in Xia Mi’s topic.
“Who knows? If he dared to show himself, would he need to sneak around at night to write it?” Xia Mi pouted. “If he had the guts, I wouldn’t mind giving him a chance. But the Principal took a photo of the blackboard and posted it at the school gate as a public criticism, which made all the guys who liked me avoid me.”
“If that guy really stood up, would you consider…” Chu Zihang suddenly couldn’t find the right word, “…giving it a try?”
“Please! Could you be any more old-fashioned? In J-dramas, it’s called dating; in Hong Kong, it’s called going out; the corny way is ‘being together’; and even cornier is ‘falling in love.’ Senior, what kind of expression is ‘giving it a try’?”
“Alright,” Chu Zihang nodded. “Being together.”
“Nonsense! Why should I?” Xia Mi tilted her head up, snorting. “I have the looks, the figure, and a good sense of humor. I’m good with both words and actions. Plenty of people want to be with me—why should I ‘give it a try’ with just anyone? Senior, do you think I’m running a charity?”
Chu Zihang nodded thoughtfully. “So, girls wouldn’t accept sudden feelings like that, right? In other words, if you don’t like someone, no matter how hard they try, it won’t work.”
“Not necessarily! How would you know if a girl likes you if you don’t give it a shot? Some people have known each other for a long time but aren’t close, while others feel a connection at first sight.” Xia Mi leaned against the window with her hands behind her head, moonlight spilling at her feet. “You have to approach this emotionally, you know what I mean?”
“But you just said you wouldn’t easily give people a chance.”
“There are a lot of people who like me. I can’t give everyone a chance.”
“There are also a lot of people who like that girl.”
“Who proposed to her?”
“Her boyfriend.”
“Is her boyfriend a good person?”
“He should be. A lot of girls like him too.” Chu Zihang thought of Caesar’s light golden hair and the girls in white lace dresses surrounding him.
“A good-looking guy?”
“Yes.”
“Rich?”
“Although he spends money a bit lavishly.”
“Flirty?”
“No.”
“Then what’s there to discuss?” Xia Mi shrugged. “A girl has a boyfriend who’s handsome, rich, and loyal, and they’re at the point of getting engaged—what could be better than that? Your friend is just a third wheel, right? Senior, do you understand what a ‘third wheel’ means?”
“Someone who creates awkwardness between a couple.”
“Very academic!” Xia Mi gave him a thumbs-up. “But very accurate. Has the girl ever shown that she likes the third wheel? Or is it just the third wheel liking the girl?”
“It’s just the third wheel liking the girl.”
In Area One’s dormitory, the unconscious Lu Mingfei suddenly sneezed loudly and shivered violently, as if someone had slashed him in his dream.
Chu Zihang’s words were always sharp.
Xia Mi looked disappointed. “Senior, is there anything more boring than this gossip? This is just a one-sided crush! Who hasn’t had a crush? A crush is something you forget when you grow up; there’s nothing to discuss.”
Chu Zihang was silent, turning to look at the fir tree outside the window. Its shadow was dark as ink in the night. He was gathering his thoughts. Whenever he wanted to express something important, he would prepare his words in his mind first, rehearsing them like he did when giving speeches as a student representative in middle school. That was just the kind of person he was—rigid. Once the words were ready in his mind, he would say them word by word, like an arrow released from a bow, unchanging in direction.
“I guess everyone in their life will meet someone they fall for. Some people meet at the right time, like seeing flowers bloom in spring. Everything will go well—they will fall in love, get engaged, get married, and live their lives together. But some people meet at the wrong time, like seeing a fish come up to breathe under the ice in winter. After it breathes, it sinks back into the water, never to be seen again, with no outcome at all. But can we say that meeting flowers in spring is right and seeing fish in winter is wrong? When you meet someone at the wrong time, can you hold yourself back from liking them? Wouldn’t you still try with all your might to get closer, trying to hide your feelings, even pretending to be another fish?” Chu Zihang said softly.
He shivered slightly, suddenly realizing he wasn’t talking about Lu Mingfei but thinking of his father and mother’s encounter.
The meeting between a Hybrid and a pure human, with one side hiding themselves and pretending to be an ordinary man. He thought of the sunlight outside the bungalow, a beautiful woman sitting by the stove with a steaming kettle, a child riding on the man’s shoulders as he crawled on the floor; and that damned cup of milk, with a sugar cube in it, steaming in his memory.
What kind of love is right? What kind of love is wrong? Should the seeds of hope that haven’t bloomed be buried in the soil, without even one spring to let them sprout?
“How much courage did that boy need to sneak into the classroom at night and what was he feeling when he wrote that he wanted to marry you on the blackboard?” He looked at Xia Mi. “Of course, you wouldn’t accept him. But for all three years of high school, he silently watched you from the corner of the classroom. Just like a mole. Moles are creatures that can’t be exposed to sunlight—they die if they stay in the sun for too long. A mole can’t come out of the dark; it can only watch you secretly. Is that wrong?”