“What kind of headline is that?” Lu Mingfei protested behind him.
“It’s a movie, The Mummy Returns, starring Brendan Fraser,” Finger said without lifting his head. “There are hordes of mummies in it, all looking just like you.”
“Get lost!” Lu Mingfei said. “You used my photo; are you going to pay me?”
“I’m turning you into a celebrity at the college. You should be paying me. In Chinese, I’m the most successful online promoter in this college,” Finger said.
“Rubbish!” Lu Mingfei snatched the mouse from Finger’s hand and scrolled down the page. The second most popular headline read, “S-Rank’s First Mission: What Exactly Did He Do Underwater?”
“It says throughout the article that I was trembling in fear underwater. What’s with this negative news?” Lu Mingfei glared, but his eyebrows were hidden beneath the bandages. “Why is there not a single picture of me acting heroically? There’s always a camera around when I’m down on my luck!”
The accompanying photo for that headline showed Lu Mingfei curled up in a corner of the boat cabin, pale-faced, clutching a bucket as he vomited.
“It’s just seasickness!” Lu Mingfei said. “Is it that strange to get seasick?”
“There was a part-time journalist on the boat with us, and these were the only kinds of photos he took of you… some of them were even worse than this,” Finger said. “But it’s good like this. Right now, your popularity is approaching that of Caesar and Chu Zihang.”
“But Caesar is always so cool in the news!” Lu Mingfei scrolled down to the third news item: “Caesar Gattuso: The Dazzling Dictator.”
The accompanying photo showed Caesar aiming a sniper rifle on deck. The firelight in front outlined a perfect masculine curve on his black combat suit, and his ice-blue eyes, coupled with a tightly clenched jaw, were somewhere between ruthless and determined. In short, it was the kind of photo that made girls scream.
“It definitely looks way better than you, but you and he are on different paths. Caesar Gattuso has built up the image of a noble scion for the past twenty years, but you need to carve out a different route! The image I’ve planned for you can be summarized in two words. The first is ‘strong’—powerful!” Finger said.
“That sounds pretty good. And the second word?” Lu Mingfei, surprisingly, liked the “strong” image.
“‘Rustic’! So rustic it’s falling apart. Your positioning is… rustic yet strong!”
“I’m going to buy a beer…” Lu Mingfei turned away.
“Buy one for me too,” Finger said.
“One bottle is enough,” Lu Mingfei said. “After I empty it, I’ll smash it over your head with a ‘bang’!”
Someone knocked on the door.
“Who is it?” Lu Mingfei went over to open the door.
Their eyes met, and Caesar’s ice-blue pupils held no emotion. Lu Mingfei gasped. As a newbie in the Student Union, he wasn’t afraid of facing the President, but facing Caesar, with a towel wrapped around his head, wearing an apron, and holding a steel knife, was a different matter entirely.
“I wonder if you have any pepper here?” Caesar asked. “If you do, I’d rather not go out and buy it.”
“Yes… yes, I do!” Lu Mingfei nodded hurriedly. The college dorms had attached bathrooms and simple kitchens. Although Lu Mingfei and Finger never bothered cooking, they did have salt and pepper on hand, for when they ordered late-night snacks and needed to add a bit of seasoning to the tomato soup.
Lu Mingfei nervously handed over the pepper shaker, and Caesar nodded politely, turning and walking into the dorm room across the hall.
“What’s going on here? What happened?” Lu Mingfei grabbed his head with both hands. “Doesn’t he live in that on-campus villa called Amber Hall? Did his family suddenly go bankrupt? Is he moving into a regular dorm and cooking for himself?”
From the dorm across the hall came the sound of a blade being unsheathed, making Lu Mingfei shiver.
The door to the dorm across the hall wasn’t closed. Lu Mingfei peeked in, and his worldview was turned upside down. Lionheart Society President Chu Zihang stood back-to-back with Caesar, drawing his rarely unsheathed katana, “Murasame,” and flicking his wrist. Then, with precision and strength, he began slicing the salmon on the table.
As Chu Zihang did this, Caesar deftly sliced tomatoes with one hand while adding pepper to the boiling soup with the other.
Both of them maintained their usual expressionless faces.
“What the… Have I… have I traveled to some parallel world where Caesar and Chu Zihang coexist peacefully? And they’re roommates… and even cooking together!” Lu Mingfei dashed back into his dorm and grabbed Finger by the collar.
“You still don’t know why?” Finger asked calmly.
“I have no idea! How many main characters in time-travel novels know why they’ve traveled?”
“Because the dorm assignments have been rearranged. The original grade-based dorm allocation was disrupted. Caesar and Chu Zihang may be archrivals in campus politics, but their girlfriends happen to live in the same dorm room—across the hall, room 304.”
“Girlfriends?” Lu Mingfei’s mind went blank.
“President! Have you finished slicing the ham? My pizza is ready, and I’m about to bake it!” A girl wearing a checkered apron came up the stairs, holding a tray of prepared pizza dough.
She saw Lu Mingfei staring in shock, and realizing she had spoken too loudly, she quickly reverted to a more ladylike demeanor, smiled politely, and slipped into the room across the hall.
Lu Mingfei blinked, feeling like flocks of little crows were flying over his head… over… and over…
He recognized that pretty black-haired girl; he had even shot her once. It was Susie, who had ambushed Nono during “Day of Liberty.”